Tuesday, March 02, 2010

I just..can't fully walk out..from the big heart problem that builded in my heart..

I unlike Emo..
Not fully emo..
but..
signer of emo..




I dun understand myself..
and,
I hate this kind of myself..




I'm bad n yuck..
why..
I told myself that..
trust u fully..
But,
somewhere in my heart..
there was many voice...


Now I'm agree..
Like/love one person..
is really not that easy..
I'm tasted..
It's..really not as easy as our think
when we're still single..


Everyone..
who know..
85% of them,
not agree that..
I like him much..
even my most lovely gor..
leave me away..
he said to other.
he totally disappointed to me..
I know my gor was try to protect me..
from stop getting hurt by guys..


I hope gor by my side now..
cause..he was the one who most..
understand what i talk..
but every time..
in our call..
sure..one of us tears..
cause he always said out..
the problem..
the thing that i try to run away..
哥总是那个常把我隐藏好好的伤口开了..
说出我的所有..
让我,掉了不少眼泪..
but now,
no more..
I rmb..
he said that..
he TOTALLY DISAPPOINTED to me..
cause of choosing to like someone..
who my gor said..
flower..
'he can use 1year to chase u...
treat u super good..
but,
when together..
u guys won't pass 1month..'


This is the most
i rmb that what my gor said..
last word..
after that call in 1/2 month before..
no more..
can't even find he..
I feel sorry to he..
non of angryness..
He just try to protect me best which he can..
But,
I'm the one who hurt he..
who make he sad n disappointed..



对不起,
我不想让你懂..
不想看到你失望/没人相信你的那种心情..
可能,
你会看到这篇..
我真的不敢跟你说..
再大的勇气,
也不希望伤害你..
你的突然好..
招来了..
一些人的怀疑..
说给我听了不少..
不是我相信他们,
不是我不相信你..

心里,
莫名的担心与疼痛..
我真的很怕..
再多的力气..
我也不知从哪开始说起..

对不起..
在你陪伴我整天的同时..
我脑袋里..
竟是担心着..
害怕,
这个幸福,
这个梦..
会下一秒突然离开..
担心,
上次的回忆
再次重演..
更加辰伤..


再累再累,
却还是想着那一个个的问题..
到底,
还有多少问题的等待..
要我们度过..
途中,
会否..突然的
你挨不下了
就从此落在茫茫人海的角落
再也不会相遇了..

lg,
你睡了..
可我..
突然觉得需要你..
想和你坦白这些是..
可我真的有口难言..
其他的任何事,
我都全完整的向你述说..

我不想成为那种,
完完全全依靠你..
依赖你的人..
因为,
我不想你麻烦..
也因为,
怕如果依靠惯了,
有一天..
你要离开..我会很无助..


有时,
你不明白..
我说的..
可能希望你陪..
希望你在..
希望你明白..

可,
每当你不懂时..
莫名的失望..
要自己一个人..
走..
没有怪你..
因为,
你应该有你自己的原因..
我不能任性,
不能要求多..

我想让你看到
我的成熟,
我的独立..
虽然我知道,
那是件对我很难的事..
我这样,
是..希望
不会麻烦到你无时无刻
或则喘不过气..
不想让你辛苦..
不想你
心烦、矛盾、被逼的样子..
虽然你没那样对过我..


那个他...
来找我.说了很多..
你的..
他问我
为什么机会给的不是他..
我内疚.
可...
很伤心..

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