__® Rainbow ®__

®Rainbow®
By..Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh..
At my precious blog..
posted this picture too...this..is before...
And..just a light reflection...
But..today...He smsed me..
Said something surprise for me..
At first..
I though he edited most special picture for me..
Cause my few picture..He help me edited..
Such as my this blog 's banner..
I love purple...He helped me..
That time..I'm at Jusco..he also at his grandma house..
On9..and..he msned me...
Thanks =*)
Is touched..every time..
He as my 'evil angel'...Really..
make me feel so touched...
Feel lucky cause of i can know a friend like this..


At His blog..shown this..
This..is the surprise he wanna give me..
True..Not light refraction...Not false...
Is..100% real rainbow....
Our promises...He done it..
How touched is it....
I still remember that..
Rainbow sign as..a new begin..
as..another new way begin...
So...now...
He show me the rainbow..
Is feel surprise and unbelievable...
And..what the meaning..
that..God wanna told me?....






*feel...like..
my mind was just empty..
Dunno why...
???Rainbow???
Means....?...
Am I also..going to have a new begin?..
Is...a unknown answer....
I love Rainbow...
But...Is it..telling me...
HAVE A NEW BEGIN?..
I feel scare...scare of many things...
I'm just a tiny person...
Many things..make me wanna run away...
I'm scare..really scare...

[SORRY FOR THE LONG LONG POST BELOW..But hope can read all..totally what in my mind]

New begin?..
Means...what??...
I should walk out from my memory?..
I should continue no friend?..cause I push my own BEST FRD away...
I dunwan lonely and alone again....
I hope to tell all to my best frd ALL...but...
Did I still have this chance?...
Will my best frd still talk with me?...
I make he sad make he angry..and ask he act dunno me...
Everyday...when I'm alone...
What can I do?..still find he?..
But I don't think my best frd will talk to me..
I miss my best frd...miss all the moment...all the memory...
my best best frd...I miss he...
But..will my best frd know?...
I know in my best frd mind..
I'm wrong...I'm the loser...I'm the one who totally evil..
Be my frd is hard...but he..as my best frd...
He can be my best frd...sure..we have many many memory together
..and..have the most most close friendship...
He done it well..He make me happy..make me smile..and..
now..make me tears too...
what can i do?..
punishment for me?...I accept if good for he..
But...How is he now?..
Just one week...
Our problem come out on July this year...
But..since last Friday...After 3.38am i think...
We not friend anymore...maybe for other..
will think that..we just have our children mind thinking..
But...This bring many many hurt for me...
I keep tears for many time...Maybe some people will feel complicated..
about our relationship...
since my precious blog....still the same..
I think..I still not 100% fully 'New Life Begin'....
Our relationship...
Is from a stranger...become a normal friend...
than good friend..also who can er trust each other by telling our secret...
Turn to super super close friend...maybe for me...
I can't leave he..Already normal that always with he...
Just keep stick together...everything...he or me almost...
was the 1st one who know each other's things...
But..dunno when begin...
Maybe I had know many people..what as people called..
'famous' in school....
For he..just maybe like..I had forget about he...leave he alone..
But I don't...I still took he as most important...
And..maybe we din told or community rightly...
So..he just continue think what in his mind was right...
And...on the time...
come out his 'fans'......And..slowly...
Our relationship changed..
Or should said..is me..always the one..
who know how to pointed other fault but din saw own's..*he always said that
So...ARGUE this word...
come out in our dictionary..
Really complicated....
we argue...for other who know SOME of our problem..
they will said that...
what me and he use those topic to argue...
Is NOT EVEN HAPPEN IN A FRIENDSHIP....
Why..
I also don't...
But maybe...I have to said...
It happen 'CHANGES'....

I unlike his 'fans' stick he and do whatever with he...
He unlike my male frd always treat me good...
I always the one who ask he to said out/said true all the problem..
He always the one who scolded me that..'I just know to point his wrong'..
I will said that I unlike which which girl always how how with he..
He will answer me that..'U'll jealous why I won't?...
I asked he that...'nothing for u to jealous about a RUBBISH(me)'..
He said that 'Just u said....and..u will jealous about those girl..Why I won't?...
But why...din saw that I just call u JUST FOCUS ON ME??....'
I (in my heart)...I can do it if u wan..I'll try my best...
but u don't even said that..
So...if u din said out...
how I know what is thinking in ur mind?

He who the one who keep told me on that day...

'If u wanna less talk with me or what..u can do it..
But if be a stranger??..CAN'T!.....'
I am the one..who...keep pushed he away....Can feel he wan unhappy too..
but..I just feel like....I'm the one who grap gone his smile..make he suffer...
make he wanna fly away from me...make he don't hope to face me...


So,I just think that...I dun hope even..my best frd...or maybe he
have another 'place' in my mind..I don't know too...
It's complicated...But now...
Maybe..just I the one who L he only...
He just treat me as best friend...
I don't hope to loss the one..my best frd..
who most important for me....
But...what i said now..
He don't no...He won't do anything too...
My wrong...is my fault....
This time..totally my fault....
I just hope he can be more happy...
smile as last time...maybe...
one day..he meet another best friend better than me..
make he totally happy...

As above..
Is truly SOME happen between he and me...
Did anyone feel it not Just a Normal friendship??..
But..what is it???...anyone let me know??...
But..maybe..no one will answer me...



Hope he will always be happy...
Today...hardly control my tears...
when I'm eating at restaurant...
Saw 'chao ji ou xiang' at AEC channel...
and...heard one of them...
(TOTALLY CLOSE AND SAME WITH ME)
And said...she also have a BEST FRIEND..
3person relationship..One..is in her heart...
but something happen..so they din talk for 5 year..
And until now the day..other frd call called back she..
and ask about she like that...only know that..
The one...who in her heart....Is gone...forever..
she can't talk to the one who in her heart also her best friend...
No chance..and she sang the song..is to HE...she cried..
That time..when she was telling story...
my eye already feel....wet...just act nothing..
Look at my meal and the TV...
How hard..I control my tears in my eye roll and roll...

Luckily when my tears dropping when i'm typing..
but even my bro also don't no..thanks~