why

My past attitude.. refind me at few moment again..
I dunwan..I dunwan...
Dunwan to let myself..
post a sad/emo post again...

Because..someone..
ask me not to do that..
I listen n try to do as how good I can..
I do it for that person..

This few day..
I lost connection with my blog..
Not lazy to update..but..
The reason..
1-my precious post too long..and I'm tired..
2-when I think to update/post up what in my mind...

That person voice will in my mind..
ask me dun post those emo/sad things..
ask me to change my attitude..
I want to prove it to the person that I'm ok..
I just 'wear up a smily & evil face mask'..
to face he and also myself..
Dun post out my sadness/emo in my blog..
But,
In the true life..how can I face it MYSELF??
Just everyday in front of pc..do nothing..
sometimes..once click...
Saw something I hate/unlike to see that..
Why?
Begin from that moment..
Every time..I saw/listen about u..
Or even when u find me...
I'll push u away evil..
U know what I mean..
sorry for that..
But I must do it..

Memory..
Is beautiful that given by..
I love it so much..
and also..teach me a lot...

Teach me what the feeling of like..
Teach me how the smell of honey & sweet..
Teach me what to make me laugh happily..
Teach me how to tears deeply..
Teach me what the feeling of hurt...

I miss everything so much..
But.. It can't flow back..
Because..
U're not there anymore..
U keep walk front to ur future..
That's not ur fault..
Is me..my fault..
Because of I still live in the memory..
hold it tight and dun let it go..
Maybe u'll said..
'u already know ur problem..
why dun u just do it?..
make u forget and let go about it...'

But, If as easy as what just as said..
Sure not saw today me..
the silly person & emo queen..

Sometimes..
if u ask more one word/one more msg..
U'll get what u want to know..
I think.. U hope to know more about me..
and who the 'HE' I always said..
and make me upset..
Or maybe u know..
Why can't..
Just patient one more second..
maybe..
It might change..
But..
haixx..
this isthe real u..
the true me...
I dun wan't..
need I said..
Only..
U know what to do..

As few week before..
I find u..
Hope to be back friend..
Really..
I want between us just FRIENDSHIP..
Other relationship..
I work hard for almost one year..
But..
Something..
Not urs..U must let go..
If it come back..
Than, That was urs forever..
But..I know my value..
U won't come back..
Or should said..
U din even by my side..
together with me even one second..

U always call me stupid..
Is sweet or sad?..
I really dunno..
For couple..
call stupid/sha gua is sweet..
For me..
a non-couple relationship person..
call stupid.. is funny..
or take means that..
U have feel to me?..
sorry if I think too much..
If u just treat me as 100% frd..
This is what in my mind..
maybe..
next time..
or after u read this..
i hope u dun read post..haix
U won't call me stupid again..
U will just call..
'Ei..'
'Si Dada..'
'Wei...'

I have post out many secret silently
in my word since long time ago..
Maybe u know but act blind..
Or..u really dunno..
Or..U know but dunno how to stop me..
I'll stop myself..
Hope next year..
My blog..will have a new face..
that love me..hold me close..give me warm..
Save me from lonely..
and tearsing deeply in my dark world

I show very very straight
and bright in here since long time ago..
Maybe u know..
Just..
Dunwan to know..
Because u still miss she or new target..
I know..
I'm ok..
This is me..
This is my life..
thanks for let me grow up
so so fast..even I don't hope..
THANKS.

I view my frd blog..
Is touched..And let me know..
No matter how..
In EVERY girl heart..
There were still a side..
Is same..
that was..
Hope get someone who like them..

http://www.wretch.cc/blog/snowee&category_id=11917040
http://www.wretch.cc/blog/kowennbuzz&category_id=12360377
http://onlymiss-r.blogspot.com/
and more.....sorry if u all dun like..
Just said out what I want to said..Thanks =)