K,End..Bye..

End but not fully with a clearly answer..
What I hope to listen..
Din even enter to my ear..
Even a clear answer..
Also..I can't get it..
Is truly Sad..

But, Nothing I can do..
He,
Don't want face it true..
Or even said something..
To let me know..
All the true..
I'm tears..
No energy to ask he..
I don't dare..
Really scare..

Can I face he ok next time?
Or..
This really a ending?

But,
sorry for that..
I still Feel that..
He keep silent..
or skip from saying anything..

I still feel that..
He have something in his heart..
But,
I don't know..

why he don't wan to voice out..

Did..
he think to use..
some bad word..
or silent..
make me..
hate he evilly..
and more easily to forget he?

Or..
He don't hope to hurt me again?
He..want to be a 'wei ren'?..
Why?..
At least..

Let me know......

But,
Now..no more..
Never mind..
he choose to silent..
I have no voice..
even no energy to ask
for THE LAST QUESTION before I leave he..

Maybe..
He won't forgive himself..
Maybe..
He want to make me hate he.
. Maybe..
He begin more and more..
Look down and hate himself..
Please don't..please...

That's was nothing ur fault...
All the begin till the end..
I'm the stupid..
I understand why u call me like that..
I'm the one..
who always misunderstand
Ur action Ur meaning..
Sorry..

Can't listen to ur 'last word'
Before I leave..
that..
was my life..
I can't even hear once true thing..
Jesmay wrong this time..

After THAT DAY..
I very very sad..
tears even see movie..
tears hear song...
tears also talking with mum..
I keep waiting..
a call..or a sms..
But I know..
is bubble..

The bubble..
crack and 'pop'..
I should let go..
maybe next time..
I look back..
I'll see that I'm stupid..
But for this moment..
Just let me be a stupid...

They said,
'This is the time..for u to grow..'
'Cheer up..I always by ur side'
'U're a nice girl...'
'A mature girl..don't cry..'
'May,ur cousin all by ur side...'

Thanks for everyone..
My facebook stated change..
everyone notice..
some like it..
some leave comment..
Some leave message in my inbox..

Because of my cousin Dear Poh Lin sis,
She told me a lot.. about begin..
she problem with her husband..
What my passed away uncle told she..
and she told me too..
she hope me cheer up..
she said..
'every thing..
must sit down and think clearly..
only do ur action..'
so,
I sms he..
voice out all..
Yen too,
Ask me do for last time..
Pop magazine too..
all the modal..
almost said that..
They..
regret cause of that time..
they din said what true in their heart to their dreams guys..

I think..
I won't regret as pop modal..
cause..
I skip their mistake..
I have told he..
I have prepare to get hurt..

But,
What babe said was true..
'Even how good u prepare...
When the true..
really comes to u...
Sure everyone will sad or tears..'
Is normal..
I know babe.....
Because I feel it..

That day...
receive his message...
1st time..
I feel want to faint..
whole thing around me was turning..
and no feel...nothing in my mind..

Is 2 day before from now..

In this 2 day..
I really dunno who I am..
Want to post blog express
emotion or sadness in blog..
but,
internet connection..
problem again..
want watch movie
because daddy bought
a new LCD for me to watch TV
But,
Nothing to see...

I think a lot..
in babe call..
I tears again....
really useless..
I don't want my now attitude..

Today, Tuesday..
Also same when..
I open my eye..
Home no one..
hp showed few message..
And,
my mind keep tell myself..
a day again..
cheer...

Don't know why..
I open my diary book..
It write from February till April..
Really miss that time..
And..
April of 15..
K,did u remember that day?..
I think u already forget about it...
Only a stupid will remember about that...
Because..
That day..
was my 1st time tears day..
Because of u scold me...
And..
1st time...
U told me..
' we 100% won't fall in love..'

After that..
I really try hard to forget u..
And..done 60%..
how good..
Because...
that come basketball competition..
It save me..
Begin that time..
I more and more LOVE basketball..

I read back my diary..
only know..and think.. last time..
U have sms me..
'scold me'..
Said..why I scold u and CB in blog..
Now,
Only I remember why..
Actually..
Not..
I not scolding u guys..
Just at that time..
I let go of u..

And,
put all my mind..
my focus eye..
in basketball..
Really happy and free..
Din think about u...

But,
that time..
u and CB keep angry about me..
Even, I said a 'basketball' word..
in front of u2..
I'll get scold..

That time I was 'hairan'..
why..
I want let go u..
100000% support basketball competition..
But,
U keep angry/'face black'
On that day..
even..scold me too..
So, I was so 'hairan'..
I want let go u..
But u angry/unlike...
If I don't let go u(on that time)
I'm the one who sad and tears..
after u said NO to me..
'100% can't fall in love..'

Reading diary..
I..find back myself..
On that time..
How I do to let go of u..
How my mind think..
What had I told myself..
All..
I found in my diary..

Now, I'm smile..
I hope it'll be ok..
Hope tomorrow..
everything will be ok....

Must life sweet with ur dear..
Must LOVE she fully...
Must make she smile..
Must make write her name in ur heart..
P.Y + K.H

I wont sad again..I try..
I won't tears...As how as I can..
I type this..
Is just to said something..
Nice ending..
Nice.....

U teach me a lot.. really...
Thanks,
K